Reflections

Life has never been easy
But I managed to pull through
And it’s so justifying to know I did it without you

I grew up thinking I wouldn’t need you
Ever
But there’s a dark void where your love should be
And it will only ever grow deeper

And no matter where I go
I will constantly be reminded that you will never care
Because I’ve never tasted that bittersweet affection that every child should
Having it now would be pointless

But
As you can see
Life goes on

And I admit
There are nights when I cry
Sometimes uncontrollably

But that’s ok

And this emptiness will continue to eat at my soul

But I’ll pull through

Better yet
Without you

I do possess some traits, however, that my mother does not show
And so my reflection is unclear
But it’s always been that way

Looking back it doesn’t seem so bad

And I may have been that little girl
Alone
In the cold night air
Drowning in a sea of booze and pub brawls

But God made me strong

And I would’ve done anything to hear you say
“It’s ok. I’m here.”
But no matter how much I pray
Or how hard I cry
It’ll never change the fact that when you walked out that door
You walked out of my life completely

Maybe it has always been hard
Maybe I’ve just been too proud to notice

Pride aside, Dad
I miss you
And even love you

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